xscream

xscream @ 2007-05-15T05:53:00

2007-05-15T11:53:25Z

adriana
you're fucking disgusting.

xscream @ 2007-05-04T17:17:00

2007-05-04T23:36:10Z

wow.. i don't even remember the last time i updated on livejournal. definitely a very long time ago.

i guess you could say i've been stressed lately, what with prom and graduation. making up the money for two prom tickets when you don't have a job isn't the easiest thing in the world. but i'm managing, so it's okay.

my grades are better than they have been for the past two years, so i'm pretty proud of myself. especially because i'm graduating! after all that, dropping out and not even knowing if i was going to pass the eleventh grade. holy shit, man. just. holy shit.

i've been feeling pretty emotional lately, just with the thought of leaving, going on to college [ holy shit i got in ], saying goodbye to all my younger friends, the girls in choir especially. i don't know what i'm going to do at the assembly on the seventeenth, or the concert that night, let alone graduation.

:/ it's like this day would never come. i thought high school would last forever. but senior year went by so quickly and now that it's almost over.. i kind of never want it to end.

which isn't true, i'm fucking ecstatic that we're free in less than a month, but.. maybe you know what i mean, whoever you may be.

like i never thought i would find myself thinking back on the previous four years and smile and kind of want to cry. i always thought i would be hard and not look back and miss anything from the past years. but i do. i really do.

:/ i miss the security of another three years, two years, year left of high school. and i miss being younger and more stupid laughing at absolutely nothing in the cafeteria or in the courtyards or the smokers' circle rather than being just young and stupid and laughing at nothing in my car or joy's car or someone else's car.

i miss the control i used to have over my future, and now it's done. we're heading out into the big world and i have no idea what to expect. well. i have a small idea. but very small. miniscule, even. i know that i want to travel, i know where i want to be and who i want to be with but it clashes with the plan i had before i met jaron.

and it was a damn good plan. a stable plan. something that could motivate me. work over the summer, if possible. go to metro. finish out the four years there and get my teacher's license. get a job at any school i can, high school even.

and then just let it go from there.

but now i want to travel.
i don't even know what started me over again on the traveling thing, i just know that i want to go everywhere this summer, and see everything and everyone and experience life on my own or with a couple of friends, whatever. before i have another four years being held back by obligations.. i want to be a little free.

xscream @ 2006-12-08T20:55:00

2006-12-09T02:55:48Z

1.How old will you be in five years?
21.. how is Kenny 23? one of us is wrong.

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
the kids.

3. How tall are you?
four ten

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
sleep?

5. What's the last movie you saw?
i don't remember.

7. Who was the last person to call you?
artem

8. What was the last text message you received?
something from zack

10. Do you prefer to call or text?
text. tracphones are gay.

11. What were you doing at 12am last night?
sleeping.

12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
married

13. When is the last time you saw your mom?
like. half an hour ago.

14. What color are your eyes?
brown.

15. what time did you wake up this morning?
five thirty.

16. What are you wearing right now?
shirt and jeans.

17. What is your favorite Christmas song?
all i want for christmas -- mariah carey

22. Do you tan or burn?
tan.

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
vampires.

25. How many TVs do you have in your house?
five.

26. How big is your bed?
full.

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
desktop

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
without in the summer. with in the winter.

29. What color are your sheets?
i don't have a sheet.

31. What is your favorite season?
spring.

32. Have you ever kissed more than one guy in a night?
uh.. not that i recall

33. What do you like about winter?
hot chocolate and ice skating.. if i ever got the chance to.

37. What cities/towns have you lived in?
vallejo, mililani and centennial

46. Do you like Chinese food?
yes

47. Do you like coffee?
no

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
dunno

49. What do you drink in the morning?
orange juice and water.

52. Do you know how to play poker?
barely

53. Do you like to cuddle?
yes

55. Do you have an addictive personality?
yes.

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
kelly stapleton

59. Do you want kids?
someday

60. Do you speak any other languages?
no

61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
no

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?
window

65. Do you know how to drive stick?
i wish

69. Can you roll your tongue?
no

70. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
it sounds like crickets

xscream @ 2006-07-28T11:53:00

2006-07-28T17:54:11Z

somebody dig a cavity into my chest, pull out my heart and place it in a wooden chest with an impossible lock and key.

update i guess

2006-03-09T00:47:23Z

1. What type of birth control (Condoms, pills, pulled out) did you use, if any?
none.

2. Were there any problems with your protection (condom breaking, missing pills)?
other than the fact that we weren't using any, no.

3. If you didn't use any birth control, are you trying to get pregnant?
no.

4. How many days are between the first day of one period and the first day of your next?
31.

5. Any big changes which could change your cycle (major change in diet, exercise, new medication, new stress?)
not really.

6. What was the month/day your last period started?
31 jan.

7. What date(s) did you have sex?
2 or 3 feb.

8. Where was ejaculation(in vagina, in condom, pulled-out)?
vagina.

9. Is there anything else that makes you think you're pregnant?
fatigue, mood swings, cramping, nausea [ i threw up this morning at school ], i've been eating non-stop, period never came, breasts are tender and getting bigger, i keep getting this pain from my bellybutton to my crotch, it doesn't feel like cramps but it definitely hurts.. but i don't know what it is. the big thing is the nausea though, because nausea is unusual for me, and throwing up is definitely different.

demonoid phenomenon

2006-01-13T04:04:07Z

o__o so an update in my life. a quick one.

i'm going back to eaglecrest on wednesday. no more ditching. otherwise i get kicked out.

AND.

o_______o barbizon called my house.
i have an audition on sunday at two.
i am nervous like fucking crazy.

.. holy shit.

-bangs face on desk-

2006-01-10T06:39:16Z

adriana. you are so FUCKING stupid.
it's time to have a talk with mother.

serves you right for kissing little girls

2005-12-26T17:22:17Z

last time i updated livejournal was a long ass time ago. i pretty much suck. but here we go.

x. new man. his name is chris. funny enough, he's evan's cousin. turning eighteen on the sixth and whatnot.

uh. what else. a little jaded these days. don't really give a shit about my family. besides my brother.

my mother called me a whore and i'm beginning to believe her.

.. i'll give a better update later.
hope everyone had a lovely christmas.

♥

not good for your health

2005-09-29T09:18:38Z

if i could be happy all the time i would do it. but that's impossible. and i can't lie. so when people ask me how i am, i hardly answer them. because i hardly feel.

that's not true.

i feel a whole fucking lot.
but i like to pretend that i don't have my own emotions. i wish people would accept that more often. adriana is the girl you don't have to worry about. she takes care of herself and it's okay.

:/ even though it's not okay.

i want my own cigarettes.. everyone else smokes shit.
that's not true. what everyone else smokes isn't bad.
it's sad that i have a personal preference now.

maybe i'm dying.

..

2005-09-17T13:36:24Z

i have to tell you how my week was. right now. starting from last weekend.

saturday, erin and i went cruising with ryan. around eight thirty, nine? we ended up getting travis also. i was on a lot of caffeine. we went up to regis [i hate regis with a passion right now] and jumped the fence. hung out on the football field for a while. erin's parents called giving her twenty minutes to get home. so we were speeding around town, dropped off ryan and travis, then she dropped me off and i waited for her to be okay. i took a lot of robitussin. not really. but more than i should have on an empty stomach. i didn't go to sleep until four. or something.

sunday i woke up shaking. my parents took us to church. i wasn't paying attention at all but when the music started up, they were playing flutes and .. i reacted to it. parents went to sleep afterward and i just hung out around the house i think.. i can't exactly remember what i was doing.

monday i had more robitussin and caffeine. so i was in a really good mood all day and had energy for choir. but then it wore off. so when i got home.. i was bored. i was bored all that day because of classes.

tuesday i took the last of my robitussin but without sufficient amounts of caffeine like i usually do. it didn't do anything until third period. travis asked me if i'm smoking crack. i couldn't stop shaking. so erin brought me n kendall out for lunch and that was fun. but then we had to go back to class. that was boring.

wednesday i don't remember. all i remember is that i got home and my mom bitched at me for not having anything done in american gov. and she made me feel like shit.

thursday i didn't go to class at all. i called my dad in the morning and told him i was moving out. he threatened to call the police and i told him i didn't care. so i hung out with aubrey for two periods and then lunch i just hung out with whoever was there. i ended up pouring water over my head. fourth period i hung out with emmy and bailey and patrik and dan i guess his name is, so it was a little better. i went back to the school and gave autumn back her jacket, tried to talk to travis but it didn't work. found jessi. talked to my dad again. went to jessi's house. jessi's mom brought me to my house for clothes and my parents ended up yelling at me all over again. my mom said that she thinks that i hate being me because of the way i am and i wanted to slit her throat. dad went to get monica from her car and i locked myself in the bathroom. i didn't do anything. i didn't have that kind of time. but i wanted to. they made me let monica in so we sat and i told her how i've been feeling for the past four years. then we came out and she made me tell my parents. my dad asked if i was suicidal and i couldn't stop crying. so they took me to the emergency department at st. joe's. i was there for five hours and for the most part we listened to this woman in the room next to us who was screaming and hitting walls. it was boring. we didn't get home until midnight and i didn't go to sleep until one because i was talking to aubrey and typing up in my deadjournal.

friday - i didn't go to school. i wanted to but my parents kept me home. we stopped by the school to pick up my calculator and excuse thursday so i could turn in my chemistry stuff. went to king soopers for arizona tea [i drank all of it the same day]. i did my homework for gov and then we had to go to kaiser. so we did and i got evaluated or whatever. in october i'm seeing a therapist and in november i'm seeing a psychiatrist. after that was over i went to the chiropracter. my neck is straight when it's not supposed to be. and my spine right above my pelvis curves to the right when it's supposed to be straight, from the front. my spine from the side doesn't have enough curve. we came home. dad went to sleep. mom and lenny and i went to carrabbas where i started to cheer up because this really cute waiter i like over there always treats us really well [and checks me out] and gives us bigger pieces of the dessert rosa. after that erin and i went to the football game and chilled there. josh gave me a ride home which was nice because i haven't talked to him in a while. not since that night when he messed up his ankle. i miss josh.

i miss ryan too. oh yeah. lemme tell ya, on wednesday i told him that i like him. and now i'm worried because i haven't really spoken to him since then. i'm pretty sure i messed up our friendship. and i wish i hadn't told him. i wish i hadn't felt anything at all.

reg- i don't know if you started to assume when i never got back to you but i can't go to homecoming with you. i can't even go to my own homecoming as my punishment for not going to class on thursday and a week ago. i'm sorry. .. i'm sorry for everything.

xscream @ 2005-08-11T09:40:00

2005-08-11T15:41:58Z

a days - first semester

1. contare, williams s147
2. chem, mazingo e209
3. world lit, hutchinson w338
4. off

b days - first semester

1. weight training, bond n175
2. psychology, nelsen s370
3. world history, whittet w339
4. honors spanish four, cash w275

a days - second semester

1. contare, williams s147
2. chem, mazingo e209
3. world lit, hutchinson w338
4. off? wtf?

b days - second semester

1. off
2. parenting/child development e124
3. world history, whittet w339
4. honors spanish four, cash. w275

xscream @ 2005-07-31T21:19:00

2005-08-01T03:22:30Z

why the _fuck_ do i have these stupid ass fucking moodswings?

i hate that i put people through this shit.

-twitch- go fucking die adriana, kthx.

xscream @ 2005-07-24T15:32:00

2005-07-24T21:34:26Z

and here i am again..
at home.

weekends are weird.

uhm.

2005-07-23T14:52:32Z

hi.
my name is adriana.
i no longer have a true home.
i'm not sure how i feel about this.
i have enough clothes for two days.
i've been gone since yesterday.
i don't know if i'm allowed to go back to the house and get my things.
and that is all.

xscream @ 2005-07-16T13:53:00

2005-07-16T19:56:32Z

i hope this works..
seriously..

xscream @ 2005-07-15T21:18:00

2005-07-16T03:20:47Z

tonight: 118.

.. meh.

xscream @ 2005-07-14T07:35:00

2005-07-14T13:38:07Z

this morning: 116.

xscream @ 2005-07-13T17:12:00

2005-07-13T23:16:13Z

uhm.
..
a bottle of coke.. three gobstoppers (two yellow ones and a red one Oo;) and in a little bit i'll have a piece of lasagna..

[edit]: okay.. i had two pieces.

xscream @ 2005-07-13T08:09:00

2005-07-13T14:13:07Z

yesterday.. 121
today.. 117

is that even fucking possible?

i had a coke in the morning during driver's ed and a number one from wendy's for dinner (with a coke)

.. -bangs face on desk-

-sigh-

2005-07-09T16:27:21Z

Maybe it's me. I feel like I'm losing something. I feel like I've already lost something and I can't figure it out yet. I don't want to be holed up in this house anymore.

both of my parents have been working the last couple nights, which isn't particularly bad, but it isn't very good either. i've been seeing things again. it's not fun.

.. i'll get back to this later.

xscream @ 2005-07-05T22:20:00

2005-07-06T04:24:48Z

today i had a burrito from chipotle and a smoothie.
i shared them with alex though. so more like. half.
-shakes head- i'm so unhealthy. -pokes self- man.

xscream @ 2005-06-15T02:49:00

2005-06-15T08:56:26Z

Put a X by the movies you've seen. if you get more than 70, you're a movie whore.

1.(x)Napoleon Dynamite
2.( )Saw
3.(x)White Noise
4.(x)White Oleander
5.(x)Anger Management
6.(x)50 First Dates
7.( )Jason X
8.( )Scream
9.( )Scream 2
10.( )Scream 3
11.( )Scary Movie
12.(x)Scary Movie 2
13.(x)Scary Movie 3
14.( )American Pie
15.( )American Pie 2
16.(x)American Wedding
17.(x)Harry Potter
18.(x)Harry Potter 2
19.(x)Harry Potter 3
20.( )Resident Evil I
21.( )Resident Evil 2
22.(x)The Wedding Singer
23.(x)Little Black Book
24.(x)The Village
25.(x)Donnie Darko
26.(x)Lilo & Stitch
27.(x)Finding Nemo
28.(x)Finding Neverland
29.( )13 Ghosts
30.(x)Signs
31.(x)The Grinch
32.(x)Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake) -Original (you pansies)
33.(x)White Chicks
34.( )Butterfly Effect
35.(x) 13 going on 30
36.(x)I, Robot
37.(x)Dodge ball
38.( )Universal Soldier
39.( ) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
40.( ) Along Came A Spider
41.( )Deep impact
42.( ) KingPin
43.(x)Never Been Kissed
44.( )Meet The Parents
45.(x)Meet The Fockers
46.(x)Eight Crazy Nights
47.( )A Cinderella Story
48.( )The Terminal
49.( )The Lizzie McGuire Movie
50.(x)Passport to Paris
51.( )Dumb & Dumber
52.( )Dumb & Dumberer
53.(x)Final Destination
54.(x)Final Destination 2
55.( )Halloween
56.(x)The Ring
57.( )The Ring 2
58.( )Harold & Kumar
59.( )Practical Magic
60.(x)Chicago
61.(x)Ghost Ship
62.( )From Hell
63.( )Hellboy
64.( )Secret Window
65.( )I Am Sam
66.( )The Whole Nine Yards
67.( )The Whole Ten Yards
68.( )The Day After Tomorrow
69.( ) Child's Play
70.(x) Bride of Chucky
71.(x)Ten Things I Hate About You
72.(x)Just Married
73.( )Gothika
74.( )A Nightmare on Elm Street
75.(x)Sixteen Candles
76.( )Bad Boys
77.( )Bad Boys 2
78.( )Joy Ride
79.( )Seven (SE7EN)
80.( )Oceans Eleven
81.( )Oceans Twelve
82.( )Identity
83.( )Lone Star
84.( )Bedazzled
85.( )Predator I
86.( )predator II
87.( ) Alien vs. Predator
88.( )Cujo
89.(x)Independence Day
90.( )Darkness Falls
91.( )Christine
92.( )ET
93.(x)Children of the Corn
94.( )My boss' daughter
95.( )Maid in Manhattan
96.( )Frailty
97.( )Best bet
98.(x)How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
99.(x)She's All That
100.( )Calendar Girls
101.( )Sideways
102.( )Mars Attacks
103.( )Event Horizon
104.(x)Ever after
105.(x)Forrest Gump
106.( )Big Trouble in Little China
107.( )X-men1
108 ( )X-men2
109.(x)Jeepers Creepers
110.( )Jeepers Creepers 2
111.(x)Catch Me If You Can
112.(x)The Others
113.(x) Freaky Friday (the original)
114.( )Reign of Fire
115.( )Cruel Intentions
116.( )PI
117.( )Swimfan
118.(x)Miracle
119.( )Old School
120.(x) Ray
121.(x)The Notebook
122.( )K-Pax
123.(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
124.(x)Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
125.( )Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
126.(x)A Walk to Remember
127.(x)Boogeyman
128.(x)Hitch
129.( )Super troopers ::Littering and umm Littering and...::
130.(x)South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut
131.( )the Fifth Element
132.(x)Star wars episode I
133.(x)Star wars episode II
134.(x)Star wars episode IV
135.(x)Star wars episode V
136.(x)Star wars episode VI
137.( )Star wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
138.( )Swimming with Sharks
139.( )Trainspotting
140.( ) People under the stairs
141.( )Blue Velvet
142.(x)Sound of music
143.(x)Parent Trap
144.( )The Burbs
145.( )SLC Punk
146.( )Meet Joe Black
147.( )Wild girls
148.( )A Clockwork Orange
149.( )The Order
150.( )Spiderman
151.(x)Spiderman 2
152.( )Amelie
153.(x)Mean Girls
154.(x)Shrek
155.(x)Shrek 2
156.(x)The Incredibles
157.( )Collateral
158.( )The Fast & The Furious
159.(x)2 Fast 2 Furious
160.( )Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow
161.( )Closer
162.(x)The Sixth Sense
163.(x)Artificial intelligence
164.(x)Love actually
165.( )Shutter
166.( )Ella Enchanted
167.(x)Princess diaries 1
168.(x)Princess diaries 2
169.( )Constantine
170.(x)Million Dollar Baby
171.( )Life of David Gale
172.( )25th hour
173.( )Vanilla Sky
174.( )Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind
175.( )Boogie Nights
176.( )Braveheart
177.( )The Anarchist Cook Book
178.( )My House In Umbria
179.( )Double Jeopardy
180.(x)Monsters, Inc

Bonus:
181.( )The Goonies
182.(x)Drop Dead Fred
183.( )Rad (that BMX movie)
184.( )The North Shore
185.( )Tremors
186.( )Garbage Pail Kids--the Movie
187.( )Seed of Chuckie (Chuckie procreates--ewww)
188.( )Army of Darkness
189.( )Flesh Gordon
190.( )Monster Squad
191.( )Road Warrior
192.(x)The Princess Bride
193.( )Young Guns
194.( )Young Guns II
195.( )Amores Perros
196.( )City of God
197.( )Gigli
198.( )The Big Lebowski
199.( )Better Off Dead
200.(x)Kindergarden Cop

xscream @ 2005-06-09T11:19:00

2005-06-09T17:36:10Z

i fail at updating livejournal.. okay so. since my last entry?

things with travis have been like a rollercoaster.. cept the day before he decided that a summer relationship would be a no for him. get my hopes up? oh yeah, sure. i'll get over it.

i've been walking around a lot with michelle and carissa, and that's always fun. i want to figure out bus routes and schedules and head up to parker or downtown.

my dad finally convinced me to try getting a job so we got an application to this smoothie place that michelle, carissa and i are now in love with.

a number of people have assured me that i could model.. and i want to. so we're going to try that out and see where it gets me. also, i'm considering selling some of my books to this used book store across the street from the smoothie place to make some money.

next week i'll be dying my hair again and the week after we're leaving for hawaii ^^ if i'm lucky, we'll be bringing my cousin home with us which'll be awesome. hum. so other than that? nothing.

haha i'm gonna bring penna to the cafe though because.. yep.

ah.. -walks off- an update on the life of adriana torres. beautiful

xscream @ 2005-05-17T16:22:00

2005-05-17T22:26:53Z

www.xanga.com/augustine_xo

-sigh-

i want to crawl into a hole and die.

communication breakdown

2005-05-15T21:54:47Z

Total number of books owned:
not enough. lemme tell ya. my parents are fucking stiffs.

The last book I bought:
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou

The last book I read:
The Color Purple, Alice Walker

Five books that mean a lot to me:
Echo
The Giver
Walk Two Moons
The Color Purple
Life is Funny

Tag five people you want to see do this quiz:
Emmy
Jessi
Nicole
Kacie
Carissa